How much toilet paper is too much?

One crappy post, because….toilet paper.

My thoughts have been constipated for a while when it comes to the subject, so I decided to spew everything that bothers me on the matter.

A little background:

Back in a day, when I was growing up, we were thought frugality. That included the toilet paper that wasn’t easy to come by and wasn’t sold in all and every store.

It was considered more of a luxury item and was delivered to our stores once a month. Sold not in packs but strung on a twine and only one of those toilet paper decorative “necklaces” (as I called them) per family. So you see the problem here if you have a family of four?

Courtesy of LCJsw


Don’t judge.

Today, my problem is with running out of toilet paper.  We have a spare bathroom downstairs that my “other half” considers his, and is using it  waaaaay too much in my opinion. Seriously, guys, do you really need to poop so damn much?

Maybe it is just a habit of sitting on a toilet while scrolling through social media, and I won’t even mention the time invested here. I am talking about a new roll of toilet paper almost every day and only for one person. That is way more than other households use from what I am finding out.

While there are toilet paper hoarders, I stock up on PT and TP each weekend and distribute two rolls to each bathroom. My Minion, the child, occasionally calls me on the cell phone (while in the bathroom) to bring her a roll. That is actually very funny when I am trying to punish her or teach her a lesson of being more thoughtful, responsible, and get her bathroom organized.

Sometimes I play the Evil Mom. I don’t answer the phone until the third try or when I hear her yelling from upstairs. Mom-1 Daughter-0. I have leverage when she needs something. Especially, when that something is precious TP!

Now, let’s see how her attitude changes. Teenagers! Ha!

 Shitty attitude.

I am a little pissed off and trying to not to make a big deal out of it.  I already determined, that my “other half” has a bad bathroom habit, but I can live with it.   That gives me plenty of “me” time when I want to read, watch TV or catch up with my friends.  What I cannot accept, is the waste. And not the fecal matter one, but the toilet paper being overused. Just to prove to myself that I wasn’t going crazy, I decided to monitor how many rolls per week will we need. And mind you, I am only talking about HIS bathroom.

Saturday morning:

I placed two rolls of TP under the sink. Glanced over the usual spot where TP likes to hang; plenty there. The roll was just started.

Saturday evening:

Empty TP roll on the sink. Half used roll just hanging out. One roll left under the sink. Should I start monitoring the time spent in the bathroom as well? Ummm…nah. The Man was at work most of Saturday. Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that part.

Sunday morning;

The half-roll from the day before is on the floor. It fell and was way past the 5-second rule, I guess. He will not use it now.   New roll is on the hook and nothing under the sink. I refilled with additional two rolls wand walked away with a big sigh. Sunday night; I picked up another empty paper roll from the bathroom floor. I rolled my eyes and almost hurt myself. Crap. And don’t think I but the cheap, one-ply paper, either!


                                                       Courtesy of Google search with no use restriction.

The toilet paper Police.

I called my friend who lives with a husband and two boys. I quickly realized, that unless I start shopping for paper products at Costco, my chances of keeping my paper supply at home are slim. She is right.

I became TP Police for a couple of weeks trying to feed the information to all the brain mush in the house, that we are being extremely wasteful when it comes to TP. There is only three of us, and we go through 12 pack like it was a beer.


I am still working on it. Seriously. Either we all are full of shit here, or my man needs to stop throwing paper on the floor, take it with him (just in case), or make it magically disappear.

I could understand if I had a cat. You can see clearly what those little guys do to a roll!

Or perhaps, he is making a Mummy in the garage where I find half used rolls on the working bench. No idea.

Maybe, just maybe, when he said he is “putting the bike away for the winter” this is what he meant.

Photo courtesy of Yuriy Akopov



Or, maybe I will invest in a Costco membership and start shopping for a family of five.

How much toilet paper do you use in your household?





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17 thoughts on “How much toilet paper is too much?

  1. No idea. But I’m pretty sure two rolls per week per bathroom is more than enough for this two-toilet family of three. Gotta be something beyond the standard use of TP going on there.

    1. A roll a day for a family of two? That is not too bad considering all the cooking you do! LOL Only kidding. Now, that I’ve said that…maybe it is MY cooking that causes extreme use of toilet paper?!?!?! 😉

  2. I think we are up to 5-6 rolls a week minimum, and we only have ONE toilet.
    But we do have my stepson living here at the moment.
    Enough said! (And why is it always my job to dispose of the cardboard inners?)
    Best wishes, Pete.

    1. Hahaha, Panic sounds about right when I have to go re-stock TP. I wonder if if we can stop Zombies by dressing like Mummies…hmmmm 😉

  3. This was hysterical! I grew up with three brothers & now live with my fiancé, so I completely get what you’re going through haha! Men have the most bizarre bathroom habits!

    1. Thank you for reading and understanding. I didn;t want to go into more details of those bathroom habits of his, but that could be a completely seperate post altogether! 🙂

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