Menopause Diaries and why Support Groups can be bad for you.

The sad, the angry, and the helpless; because blaming everything on men is a way to go.

Recently, I decided to join one of the Support Groups that popped up for me on Social Media. I wanted to learn from other women about Menopause, the symptoms and solutions to this what seems to be described as disease or disability to some extent. Not because it is, and not by the doctors’ diagnosis, but because some women seem to describe it as such.

Is this what I will turn into?

I’ve heard in the past about women being hormonal, agitated and having anger issues, but I never understood why us? What is so different and how all of this works? I did my research about my own symptoms and found a solution within few months. It wasn’t easy, but I wasn’t going to be a victim of something I could control. At least for now.  I’m happy that I found what works for me, and I am happy at the moment. That doesn’t end my curiosity to learn more and see how others deal with various symptoms, so the nosey one that I am, I clicked on “Join” and there I was. Overwhelmed from the moment someone on the other end accepted my request.

Menstruation. Menopause. Mental breakdowns -notice how all women’s problems begin with men.

The group was swarming with posts one after another. Half a day into my “membership” I had over a hundred notifications. I started reading, and I stopped just as quickly. All posts seem to be nothing but moaning and complaining of angry, vindictive and unstable people. I don’t even think they read answers to the questions they posted.  If anyone offered them a good piece of advice, something that would actually work, things would become ugly. I just see it. Suddenly I felt anxious and stressed.

And I am a part of this? Can’t be. I understood now, what ‘Support Group’ means. Follow the flock, do what everyone else is doing, and don’t you dare tell anyone about anything that works for you or give them advice or solution because they will stab you with a pencil. Well, in this case, more like stab the computer keyboard with their nails, which can lead to breaking, which can lead to more anger.  Or,  better yet, you will be banned from the group.

Keep your opinions to yourself.

It wasn’t easy for me to keep my mouth shut and not comment what I really think about those who are looking for a quick fix and solution to their problem without even trying. Every few minutes someone asked the same questions where others would comment the same answers. Do this not that. Take this, not that. You have to do this and that ( as if their way or cure was the only thing that worked). I don’t get it. I got very frustrated and within a couple of hours of my wonderful ‘membership’ I felt my blood pressure rising and my homicidal tendencies coming out. Again.

In a short time, I’ve learned that there are husbands that went crazy because of their wifes. Dishes broken and so are many marriages. Women blame everything on their spouses because it is their fault that they are men. I also learned that if you throw a tantrum, your man will leave you “the hell alone” and if you want a divorce, faking severe menopause is a way to go. So this is what Support Group is all about. Support others’ crazy ideas and sit helplessly, waste time on drama instead of trying to help yourself and find a solution to their well-being. I guess being a victim and blaming everything on others is a new trend.

If sarcasm burned calories, I’d be a Skinny Bitch

I really learned a lot from my short session of reading posts and comments and I even dared to say something on the matter. At this point, I did not care. There was nothing good in here. If anything, I ended up with anxiety, a headache, and high blood pressure just from participating.

In order to cheer someone up a tad, in reply to her sad, sobbing short story about gaining weight, having hot  flashes, lack of sleep, being tired, having anxiety, dry skin, being moody and many other things she mentioned; I said, look at the bright side; at least you don’t have homicidal tendencies. I think I crossed the line. I opened my mouth. I hadn’t even got a chance to speak my mind. I was deleted and blocked within minutes.

I’m guessing I was wrong. Support Groups are not for people seeking help. They are for weak individuals who seek their own kind. They need validation and affirmation that others like them exist. It makes them feel better if their problem is bigger than the other guys. I guess if you want to help yourself, you can do it without the approval of another. You just do it. No group is going to change or make your decision for you. You are in charge. You are responsible for your own well-being.  Lesson learned: Being a realist is not easy. Speaking your mind makes others uncomfortable. No one likes to hear the truth. Support Groups are not for me.


 I am only responsible for what I say, and not what you understand.


Facebook Comments

Leave a comment